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NEW Recovery Service

Good Morning my friends! I am coming to you on this Monday morning with some exciting news.

I have been considering filling a need in the eating disorder recovery field for a while now. Over the years, I have been mentoring with an amazing organization called MentorConnect. I have also been working in a variety of eating disorder settings, ranging from inpatient to outpatient care. I have been learning so much from an amazing woman who has over 15 years of expertise in the eating disorder field. With this said, I am proud to announce that I am now accepting clients for Recovery Coaching.

canvas with the phrase start your next story next to oil paints

What is Recovery Coaching? Recovery coaching is a powerful tool for those struggling with an eating disorder and/or the family of a loved one who is struggling.

Eating Disorder Recovery is difficult, but possible. Learning to overcome triggers and urges, facing fear foods, accepting a new body image, utilizing new coping skills and discovering life beyond an eating disorder…can be overwhelming.

For the family of a loved one who is struggling, it can feel like you are walking on eggshells and not sure how you can best support who you love so dearly. Perhaps, you have questions,”What should I say?”, “What can I do to prevent relapse?”

Learn how to provide them with support as well as getting the support you need in this difficult time. Eating disorders are confusing illnesses and effect the whole family.

With me as your Recovery Coach, I will provide you with the support you need. Through the use of technology, our sessions can be over the phone, through skype, email and texts. So whether, you are at home, work or school, I am there by your side, supporting you through the day!

Beautiful asian woman using digital tablet in car

If you are traveling, I will be supporting you in your recovery!

If you are away at school, I will be supporting you in your recovery!

If you are away at school, I will be supporting you in your recovery!

You do not have to do recovery alone. Learn more at Be Me Recovery!

Always Be YOU,

Jenn 

I have been stood up!

Good Morning my friends! I hope that you are enjoying this beautiful Friday morning.

I am happy to be back at blogging and plan to be sticking around this time. I have been working on some behind the scenes projects (sorry to be vague, but I will explain it all soon!). I know that you will be just as excited about them as I am : )

But for now, let’s move on to some of my thoughts about this week:

I’ve been stood up a lot this week, and I have to admit that I’m getting a little tired of it. Maybe people are still on vacation mode from the 4th of July? I’m not sure what’s going on, exactly, but I’m getting a little bit (OR A LOT) annoyed. For my job, I do a bunch of over-the-phone and in person interviews. I usually spend about an hour or so preparing documents and such to share for each one of my meetings. That’s all great and good – time well-spent – as long as people show up for our scheduled phone conversations and/or meetings.

This week, I’ve done my usual preparations, and then I get on the telephone at the time I had scheduled with a potential partnership, and then I waiiiiiiiited…. (while listening to some pretty horrible  “hold”music) I’ve gotten a few legit (after-the-fact) excuses this week like: “We had a real-live fire drill! In the rain!” But most of the times I’ve been stood up, I didn’t get much of an explanation at all. And I had some good, valuable info to share with them!

This morning, I stayed in bed a little longer than I should have. I did not want to get out. And then I had to hurry up and get my clothes on and make some coffee so I could get my kids to child care. And then I had to make sure all of the rotting things were out of my fridge because – TRASH DAY! And then I got in my car and drove away into my day, and… I stood up ME. I skipped my usual morning meeting with myself and my journal on my couch before I started the rest of my day. Jenn (referring to myself in the third person) was waiting for me (She always is), but I didn’t show up. I had some excuses (bed felt gooooood, trash!, need caffeine, can’t be late for my child care arrangements). But really, what it all boils down to is: I stood myself up. And my day has been quite funky – a little “off” ever since.

Thankfully, I have learned to be a LOT more patient myself over the years. The more patient I am with myself, the more patient I am with others. We all have valuable information to share with ourselves and others. It’s important to show up and listen to our hearts. We have a lot to listen to.

journal and coffee

I encourage you to take out your journal, or a new document on your computer. Take a few moments to reflect: Have you recently stood yourself up? If so, why? Is the urgency of day- to-day demands? Are you avoiding a decision or a conversation that you need to have?

As always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

We are worthy.

Good Morning my friends! I hope you are enjoying your week so far. I am enjoying the fall like weather here in DC. I hope the weather is pleasant where you are too : )

I love all things fall…pumpkin flavored EVERYTHING, football (currently eyeing a few games) and oversized cozy sweaters. While it’s a comforting time of the year, we are still human and have difficult days. When I am having a difficult day, I like reaching out to a trusted friend who lends a listening ear. It always puts things in perspective for me.

The other day, I got to talking to my trusted friend of  about living life, when we are feeling unworthy. Trying to do so can be very difficult. We got to talking about how our society has a list of prerequisites to our feelings of worthiness. It is easy for us to fall into this trap and create a list of our own. Have you fallen into this trap yourself at times?

             Examples may be:

  • I’ll be worthy when I own a home.
  • I’ll be worthy when I get married.
  • I’ll be worthy when I loose the last 5 pounds.
  • I’ll be worthy when I start a family.
  • I’ll be worthy when I land my dream job.
  • I’ll be worthy when I pay off my debt.
  • I’ll be worthy when I can do it all and look like I have it all together.

Here’s the truth: YOU are Worthy, NOW. Just as you are right this moment.

worthy

Sending all of you worthiness, love and wishes for a good week.

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

Yoga is more than a child’s pose

Good Morning my friends! In honor of National Yoga Awareness Month I chose to join George Washington University School of Public Health Blogging Contest.

Howyogahaschangedyou

 I don’t talk too much about my own journey on this blog. Perhaps, that is something I will reconsider in future posts. I mention briefly about my past struggle with an eating disorder, anxiety and depression and rarely get into details. I think it’s because I find it difficult to write about it, when I feel as though it was someone else experiencing that life. I feel I am an outsider looking in, when the words of my past are written on paper. That is, until recently…

It was a rainy day here in DC. I was late, rushing around to get to a yoga class that has been on my “To Do” list for over a year now. The irony of a centuries-old favorite practice that promises to relieve stress and quiet the mind, was acting as my current source of stress: Making it to yoga on time. I parked far away from the gym door, as it must have been a packed class. Figures! Everyone from my favorite barista (hi, Brenda!) to my mailman is giving yoga a try lately. Now, usually I am the last person to advise anyone (myself included) to follow the herd. But the amount of people who are enjoying yoga suggested to me that there’s something to it. Whatever it was, I am too curious of a person to not find out. After all, if I didn’t like it, at least I would know why.

Okay back to that day…my first yoga class. After parking far away, I pulled a clever James Bond’s maneuver. I decided to run through the parking lot, twisting and turning, as a short cut to the double doors where I’d enter into warmth and dryness the fastest possible way.  I grabbed my rubber yoga mat (used it as a shield for my head from the rain) and ran.

BOOM! As I was busy looking down at my feet trying to dodge deep puddles, I missed another  yogi attempting to step out into the rain herself. My knee and shoulder hit her door as she opened it and I bounced backwards onto another vehicle. This was not how James Bond’s story would have ended…

I apologized to the girl (after all, I should have been the one looking where I was going), wobbled into the gym and saw the ugly purplish bumps forming on my knee and elbow. I was in pain and ready to skip the class, but the idea of going back out in the cold and rain (especially now that I was unable to run it) was not happening. So I gritted my teeth and entered the room of mats and poses.

The teacher asked us to come from a place of intention. She asked us to think of a life lesson that we may be needing to learn at this moment in our lives. As I attempted a crooked pigeon pose, the throbbing of my recent injuries were reminding me that I need to slow down! Here I was, rushing around in life. Trying to get everything done and be everywhere for everyone. I am a busy body. For those that know me, I love life and I try to live it as fully as possible. After all, this is it you guys. Our life is happening NOW! We only get one, so make it a good one.

But maybe this centuries-old practice is on to something. Perhaps, my run in (literally) this morning was a reminder to Slow Down and Breathe. To do less…GASP! What a concept I haven’t visited recently. Do less? How will I begin to do so? I wish I could say that I had a storybook ending from that class. No, I didn’t have all the answers after that class. I didn’t have a big revelation. But I did have loosened ligaments, more flexibility and some things to think about. I also had the desire to return for another class.

Shortly after, I was gifted a Groupon package for yoga classes. Oh the generous gift giver had no idea about my past attempt with yoga and how I planned to re-gift this yoga package the moment I opened the envelope. But I decided this was another lesson to be learned in life. So I went weekly.

As others would be in pose on their mats and in deep thought, I would be squirming and day dreaming about what I had to do once the class ended. Others would leave class relaxed and refreshed. I left class neurotic and just waiting to pack up my mat and tackle my “to do” list. In one particular class, we were told to get into child’s pose. It was then I felt it. No, not the tightness of my muscles. But it, the time of my life (my past) that I wanted to forget. The part of me that I wanted to stop writing about (after all, it’s many years later) and never wanted it to be mentioned again. It was that class, where in my crooked child’s pose, I felt a need to dig deeper into my old wounds and hurt. Since that class, I have been working on addressing things from my past that had hurt me and had me believing I was not enough. It is a journey of healing and I am grateful for it. 

Yoga has taught me to slow down and connect with myself. To accept parts of my past as being part of who I am today.

Your turn: How has yoga affected YOU?

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

badge

Turning Over a New Leaf

Good Morning my friends! How is your morning going? I am enjoying a piping hot cup of creamy coffee and wrapped up in a cozy snuggly blanket. Just how I like to start out my early mornings in the fall. Did I mention the smell of pumpkin has filled the house? Yes, it is pumpkin mania over here and I am enjoying all things pumpkin related.

Since it is officially fall (we are experiencing the cool fall like weather this week), I want to share with you something I like doing every fall. Besides my love for everything pumpkin flavored, sweater wearing, basketball watching cliché, I add something special to my Fall Bucket List…I take time to assess personal changes I’d like to implement for the new season. I consider fall a chance to “turn over a new leaf”.

fall leaves“Turning Over a New Leaf”

Some leaves I’ll be turning over this fall:

Work on showing empathy and understanding to others. This is something that is always a work in progress, the bucket is never full and there is never enough. This is something that we can continually work on throughout our lives. I genuinely FEEL lots of empathy and understanding for others, which is why I love helping others so much. But we can’t make change occur purely out-of-the-way we FEEL. So I continue to focus on demonstrating the empathy and understanding I have for others. One of my main goals for my son is to teach him to be kind and compassionate to others, even the ones who are too hurt to treat us with the same respect. Kindness goes a long way; you can never have or show too much.

Join a cheering squad. This is along the same lines as the above. Choose someone in your life who could use a little encouragement. Sometimes a little, “Hey I have been thinking about you and hoping you are doing well” can go a looonnng way!

be an encourager

Work on self kindness as well. This means working on little things that I may tell myself throughout the day, “Ugh, why did you do/didn’t that?” and “You could have done better”. As well as showing more patience to myself. Yes, self assessing realistically is critical for self growth, but there is a difference between self assessing and being critical and bully like towards yourself.

Gain momentum with my 2014 goals. I’m really excited to be learning and experiencing the research side of psychology, and also some huge (!) and exciting projects that are around the corner in 2015.

Your turn:

What leaves are you turning over this fall?

What’s something you want to change? Something you want to continue?

 I always love to hear your thoughts!

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

Do you conform?

Good Morning my friends! How was your weekend? This morning I am buzzing about (partly due to my morning cup of coffee) because I have to quickly head out for work. We are working on a research project that I am currently devoting most of my time to. I love studying psychology. I love being engrossed in the scientific study of the human mind and its functions. I’m currently learning more about the research side of things and so far I’m  LOVING IT!

Now, on to the reason I am writing today…

I AM SO EXCITED ABOUT OUR NEW GROUP.

We took a few weeks to implement a  new online support group and things are going great. There is still time for you to be a part of it as well. You can email me at JennB@BeYouAtBeMe.com if you are wanting to join this supportive community.

Before I go, I’d like to leave you with one of my favorites!

conformity

Have an amazing day my friends!

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

Never Forget

 

9-11-2001

It’s hard to believe it was already 13 years ago. I feel like I remember that day SO clearly. Let us take a moment today to be especially grateful for our military troops, policeman, and firefighters, and for everything they do on a day to day basis. Let’s raise our flags today in remembrance of all the people who lost their lives on that tragic September day back in 2001. Sending love and hugs to those of you that may have lost loved ones.

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

 

How the 5 Love Languages Changed My Relationships

Good Morning my friends! How are you spending this lovely holiday weekend? With the extra time off, I have something special to share with you and hope you may find it useful.

5 love languages

Have you heard of The Five Love Languages? According to this theory, they are as follows:

Words of Affirmation, Acts of Service, Receiving Gifts, Quality Time, and Physical Touch.

Every person feels uniquely loved in one of these ways. Specifically, the way you feel loved is also the way you show love.

For instance, one of my Love Language is Acts of Service, which makes sense because I strongly agree with the notion that,”actions speak louder than words”. A kind and thoughtful act goes a long way for me and it aligns with the way I show appreciation for other people. An “Let me do that for you” after a long day makes me feel acknowledged and loved and I like to do the same in return.

The disconnect can lie in the fact that those we love may have a different language than our own. Your partner, friend, parent or child’s love language can be something you aren’t used to expressing. For example, someone I love can have the Love Language, Words of Affirmation, which means my Acts of Service will not have the same impact on them. Instead, an “I love you” or “job well done” would make them feel acknowledged for things they’re doing right and they would like to do the same in return.

I’m curious to know what your love language is (take the test here), and how you’ve reconciled having a different language from your loved ones, a partner, friendship and parent/child relationships!

Your judgement is hurtful.

**Disclaimer: This post includes information on physical exercise. I recommend you skip this post and return tomorrow if you’re struggling with overexercising and/or use it as a means to purge. As always, please consult your physician and treatment team before starting any physical activity.**

Good Morning my friends! How was your weekend? I hope you took some time to do something enjoyable. I mentioned on Saturday, I was taking the afternoon to sit down and sort out my thoughts on a topic that has been weighing heavily on my heart for months.  I feel strongly about all of us learning to use our voices and expressing our true selves. So here goes…

be-yourself-dr-seuss-girl-light-originality-quote-Favim.com-41424

“Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don’t matter and those who matter don’t mind”.

Almost two years ago, I had the pleasure of working with an eating disorder clinician and being coworkers for over a year. I enjoyed my work at the center greatly and learned a lot! There were some kinks to be sorted out and I’m no longer there, which is unfortunate. While working together, I got to know her pretty well and she got to know me…well…actually, only parts of me that she wanted to see…not my true identity.

While getting to know one another, she noticed my strong passion for running and she judged me for it. She also knew that I struggled with an eating disorder in the past. However, she couldn’t look past my prior struggle and failed to see me for me. Rather, she judged me and concluded that I was relapsing, because I loved running so much. This hurt me.

If she had taken the time to learn about me instead of filing me under “woman relapsed due to overexercising” she would have been able to know the truth…

My passion for running is one passion of mine.  I am an eating disorder survivor, a speaker, a writer, a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister, a friend, a board member for an eating disorders nonprofit organization called MentorCONNECT and so much more! If she had taken the time to listen and hear my story, she may have learned this.

Today, I am healthy, fully nourished, and a strong athlete. My ability to train properly and to achieve my race goals is a reality only because of my recovery. 

**Side note: Remember that getting to the starting line is very difficult, and even impossible,  to do if you are still actively engaging in an eating disorder, dieting or overexercising. Again, I reinforce to you that I can be at the starting line now because I am recovered.**

Before the eating disorder came into my life, I was purely being me. I raced and won and even broke school records. I had lots of energy and speed. I had a passion and a talent. I was being recruited for the Junior Olympics and loved every minute, mile, and step that I have logged on my feet since birth. And there is nothing wrong with having this passion. Overexercising or using exercise, as a means to purge were never an issue in my ED days. Running was my joy,  and living a life with ED, was dark and joyless life…so naturally running was not happening.

Personally, I chose to take  a long break from running after ED stole it from me. I was well into recovery before purchasing a new pair of sneakers and stepping back onto the track. I also had the assistance of a coach and nutritionist to guide me and be on my team to war against ED, if he decided to creep back into the picture.

I like to say I was being responsible in my recovery. The above mentioned clinician, saw it as though I still struggled.

I wonder…

Can an eating disorder survivor not reach out to experts in their fields to help them be the athlete they are meant to be?!

This clinician doubted my recovery, my passions and me.

Again, She heard two things, “a woman with a prior eating disorder” and an “avid runner”. She chose to ignore any further explanation and in her mind I remained  “a woman who had relapsed”. This is sad, very sad. My true identity was invisible to her.  I was not being seen for the beautiful woman I am. Not to mention the rock star runner : )

don't be afraid

Remember my friends, recovery is about being YOU. You can be who you have been created to Be.When you are living a life free from an eating disorder. You have opportunities, choices and freedom. Please don’t let anyone’s judgement hurt you or have you doubting yourself.

I think it is beautiful to have a woman whom is an eating disorder survivor, whom is  being herself and no longer influenced by anxiety, depression or an eating disorder. A woman who is enjoying her life passions and living fully is a beautiful blessing in my book. To be able to return to activities that were part of her identity before the eating disorder is another blessing and even a miracle, because it means she healed from complications associated with the disorder and continues to run responsibly.

Again, I wonder…

Should we avoid certain activities if we are an Eating Disorder Survivor?

Should we not speak about our passions if they involve a sport?

Should we dim that part of ourselves to make others judge us less and accept us more?

NO.

Be who you have been created to be. I have been a “runner” since I could walk. I will not allow another person’s judgmental mind, shame me for being one. I’ll see you at the starting line!

start

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

Watch Me : )

Good Morning my friends! I hope you had a great week and have some fun and relaxation planned for the weekend.

I just wanted to drop in real quick and leave you with this

watch me

I cannot tell you how many people in my life have told me there were things that I can’t do, shouldn’t do and  wouldn’t do. Ha! Man, did I put on a show for them to watch. I went and did all those things because I deeply and honesty wanted to. None of them were hurtful to myself or others.

Remember, that others may express concern for various reasons. If the concern is coming from someone you trust, listen to what they are saying and rethink your idea. If it’s truly something that will benefit you in a healthy way (non ED way) then do it.

Today, I’m taking some time to write up a post that I have been meaning to write for months now. I was afraid to write it and some have told me not to. But after much time, I know this message weighs on my heart and by writing it, I am being Me. My intentions in doing so are not to hurt another or myself. Will you do the same this weekend? Will you choose one thing that fills your heart with joy and feels “right”?

Alright, I’m off to enjoy this beautiful weather. I hope the weather is nice where you are. I’ll be back on Monday with that post. Have a great weekend!

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.