June 19, 2013 Leave a Comment

“Normal” Eating

Good Evening my friends! I am excited to tell you about the Special twitter Chat I attended last night. It was to discuss and celebrate the book, Almost Anorexic:  Is My (or My Loved One’s) Relationship with Food a Problem, which will be released in just a few weeks.

The authors, Dr. Jennifer Thomas and Jenni Schaefer describe the book to be written as a vehicle to raise awareness about EDNOS and other disordered eating. The authors shared they do discuss “almost purging” as they worry about the juice fasts, colonics, teas, etc. and how these have become “normal” and people are being sold on the ideas that they are getting rid of toxins. When in reality, these “lifestyle changes “are disordered eating behaviors and dieting in disguise. They go on to point out that even though these patterns of disordered eating cannot be officially diagnosed, they still present serious and potentially, even life altering experiences. Yet so many people continue to believe these are “healthy”.

Throughout the chat, the audience asked several questions. One in particular, peaked an interest. A member of the audience asked “What does “normal eating” mean? I really liked this question because we can get lost in the media’s definition of “normal” and/or “healthy” and listen to advice from magazine articles, TV segments, etc… when in reality,  most of the advice is “disordered” and “unhealthy”.

So what does “normal” eating, mean? It means that food is neutral. Certain foods are not labeled “good” or “bad”. Normal eating is where you no longer base when and how much you eat on ED’s rules, a diets’ rules, etc. Lastly, normal eating is allowing food to be a part of celebration and connection. Going out to dinner with others, sharing dessert with a friend and not thinking about it.

Normal Eating does NOT include diets. Diets are disordered eating.

Stop dieting and you will find the freedom!

Stop dieting and you will find the freedom!

I haven’t read the book yet but plan to once it’s released. It is then I will do a full review on it and have a true opinion on the matter. However, in the meantime, I can say that I am so glad that I attended the chat as it has been a much needed event of awareness. When you log onto Facebook and see statuses of people doing the “right” thing according to them, whether they post themselves being “good” by working out, or eating  food that they consider to be “good” (not good tasting) etc. it is easy to see how the world defines “good” and “bad” in a disordered way. So, if I ate dessert today or haven’t been to the gym in a while, am I being “bad”? What kind of message are we sending to the children around us? Should they be feeling as though they are “bad” for eating dessert??!! NEVER! People, let’s be careful about the messages we are sending to ourselves and those around us that we believe to be “Healthy” when really they are a bit disordered.

What kind of Facebook statuses do you see where others label their food and behaviors as being “good” or “bad”? Are you able to see that these labels feed into the disordered thinking? 

 

Always Be YOU,

 

Jenn B.

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June 18, 2013 Leave a Comment

Supporting those who help others!

Good Afternoon my friends! I hope your week is going well and that it is dry where you are, very wet here today…lots of rain!

For those of you who are regular readers, you already know how much I love supporting the good efforts of others in our large community. I am passionate about helping those who help others. There is always something YOU can do to help another person and it’s important to remind yourself of having this ability to do so.

helpinghands

 

A big part of my own recovery is getting outside of myself. Doing things for others, selflessly. In the past, I have combined my passion for running with my passion for helping others by being involved with Organizations like Girls on the Run, Back on my feet, and Be Me’s very own Outrunning Fear and ED fundraiser.

This time, I want to share with you my newest endeavor with KindRunner. KindRunner is a group of runners that take your old shoes, spruce them up and donate them to Soles 4 Souls and the More Foundation. They take your old shoes and transform them into the right shoe for someone in need. They reach over ten of millions of people around the world who are in need of a pair of shoes.

kindrunner

 

Not only does Kind Runner help those in need, but they also help save the Earth! Did you know that each year, millions of running shoes go into the trash? It takes the average shoe 90 to 100 years to begin decomposing.

What can YOU do? Simply, gather your old sneakers and send them in to Kindrunner.com! Any and all information you may need can be found on the website. Follow them on Twitter, Like them on Facebook and do your part to be involved.

 

(I am a KindRunner Ambassador, because I like supporting companies that do amazing things for others, so be prepared to hear more about this in the future)

 

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B. 

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June 12, 2013 2 Comments

BE Exposed.

A few weekends ago, my sisters threw me a baby shower. (For those of you who don’t know, I’m expecting my first child in a couple of weeks!) They had a delicious spread of food, provided fun games and set up my sister’s house to welcome my friends and family. To say I was touched and feel lucky is an understatement.

When it was time to open all the gifts for my future son and I, I thanked them for everything they’ve done for me that day. I also wanted to tell them how thankful I was that they were actually there for me through this exciting but also anxious time. I held my tongue that day but did let them know soon after.

This is growth. You see, in the past, I had a hard time letting people in. I mean, really letting people in. I felt like I always had to keep everything together and that if I made it appear as if I was going through some kind of trouble and needing them, I  would seem weak, or become a burden to them.

Since then, many years later, I’ve let myself get increasingly vulnerable. On this blog, with my clients, with my family, with my friends. I’ve told people about not only my not so happy days, but my darkest days when I’ve felt totally lost and confused. I’ve asked for favors, support and prayers. I’ve told people I needed them to listen as I spoke, I asked them for recommendations and listened to their advice.

At first, I remember it feeling very scary…What would they think of me? Would they get annoyed with me?

Would they get it? Would they understand me?                                                       

And as I looked around at my baby shower, I realized that everything was okay. They were all there and had seen my full spectrum of emotions and who I was, and they were all there by my side.

Getting Vulnerable is Scary!! Opening up and letting others see your good, the not so good and the darkest of days, is easier said than done. Talking about our feelings and thoughts to others leaves us feeling exposed. It opens us up for rejection from others, them thinking we are weak or not accept us for who we are. But it also opens us up to living an authentic life of integrity, getting real support and feeling connected to others when we feel alone.

When people come to me with issues of anxiety, depression, eating disorders, etc., they discover that they turn to Eating disorder behaviors to escape some of the uncomfortable feelings they have.

They may be feeling alone and confused. Rather than talking to someone about they rely distracting themselves with obsessive thoughts on food and exercise and altering the way they look…hoping to avoid the reality of the unpleasant feelings inside.

These are just a couple of examples and I think some of you may be able to relate to them.

My challenge for YOU…

I encourage you to try peeling back the layers a little bit and get real with a person of your choosing. Ask them for support. Tell them how you really feel. If you’re lonely, reach out to them.

Your feelings are valid and deserve to be expressed.

Tell me… is it hard for you to open up and admit when you’re struggling? Is there one way you can open yourself up a little bit more to someone today?

I’d love to hear your comments on this blog!

 

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

 

 

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June 10, 2013 Leave a Comment

Reasons to Recover.

Hello my friends! I hope you enjoyed your weekend and feeling well rested for the week. I had an amazing conversation with a mentoree (part of the BE ME Buddy Program) last night. I won’t go into detail but will say it definitely sparked the topic for this post and also sparked a fire within her : )

What do you think about when you hear the word endurance? Being a life long athlete, I think about stamina in regards to physical endurance. However, I also think about Recovery.  The strength required to remain dedicated to recovery requires endurance. And having endurance to fight an eating disorder is outstands that of an endurance athlete. Because the strength needed for fighting an eating disorder is life or death.

The ultimate goal of recovery is to be stronger than ED. To have the endurance to get up each day and fight for life. To talk back to ED and disobey him. To replace ED’s lies with truth and to continue to struggle until you control your thinking, not him.

Endurance is important in recovery because without it, you would give up and lose the battle to ED.  Endurance is what keeps you moving on towards recovery and push through even the hardest of days when you want to give up. It is what keeps you from obeying that pesky critical voice inside telling you, “I’ll never be happy again” or “I’ll never feel safe and secure by doing all these scary things”.

Which brings me to the word courage. What do you think about the when you hear the word courage? Being a risk taker, I think about taking risks. And in recovery courage is required. Being courageous is doing what it is you know you need to do to recover. We can have the wisdom we need from ourselves, a therapist, a doctor, and others who have been where you are now in their past…all telling you what you are supposed to do.  But doing what you are supposed to do is courageous.

I remember there was a time in my early recovery where I knew what it was I needed to do and I remember knowing how much I really wanted to change and live life again! But when push came to shove, my courage was not there and so I continued doing the dame behaviors I wanted to leave behind.

I needed to find my courage and I did by taking risks. I ate foods that made me tremble and were labeled as “bad”. I spoke to strangers even though I was scared of being rejected.

I did things that went against what ED wanted me to do.

YOU have courage. So get out there and be brave. Do something scary!

Yes, recovery is hard and as you can see, recovery is a struggle and often times much harder than staying sick. So why continue trying? Well, there are many reasons why…and I found mine. I encourage you to think about what yours are. And when you do, please share some with me. I’d love to hear them!

I will leave you with some for you to review and take any you feel fit for you, but also add on to them!

Reasons to Recover:

To be able to think clearly again.

To finally feel alive, instead of merely existing.

To being able to let people in and no longer keeping yourself hidden from others.

Because it feels beautiful when you can be happy and no longer faking it.

To finally realize that people will love you for whom YOU are, regardless of your weight and what you look like.

To have the spark return in your eyes!

Because YOU are worth it. YOU deserve life!

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

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May 17, 2013 4 Comments

Ditching Dannon for Good!

Dannon can take their guilt and food and hit the road! I am ditching you, Dannon, for good.

Where are the women who enjoy food and do not feel guilt for doing so? I want to hear who you are and see you stand up and be proud. Let’s unite and promote a life of living and freedom and choosing to eat what we want rather than what companies like Dannon, say are “good and bad”.

I was watching television the other evening and felt a mix of many emotions after watching a current Dannon Light & Fit commercial. I felt anger and sadness about the message they are sending…the message that one must feel guilty for enjoying foods this company considers “bad”. I felt sad that so many women fall for this gimmicky marketing and begin to restrict themselves form enjoying all foods and living in a rigid rule based world of “good and bad” foods.

For those of you whom are not familiar with the commercial, let me describe the scenario that angers me to the point of no belief. In addition, here is the link to the Ad,  so you can witness this disordered message for yourself and hopefully choose to reject their message and instead allow yourself the freedom and enjoyment of eating all foods without labeling them “good” and “bad” and feeling freedom from this disordered thinking.

The commercial shows a woman going through her day while a man with a bullhorn follows her, shouting the names of foods she is avoiding, “Donuts! Cookies! Chips!”. He is labeling all these foods as “bad”. Food on its own has no moral values.  People like the man with the bullhorn create them. The fact that the man is labeling these as “bad” is what is wrong. The part where the women ignores all of her carvings for these foods and chooses a yogurt instead is worse.

The idea that the women is ignoring what she wants and will not allow herself to listen to her body and cravings and give herself what it is she is really wanting is sad. She is neglecting to listen to her feminine intuition, and instead an ad that is trying to sell their product by labeling other foods as being “bad”. What is “bad” in this situation is that the woman ignores her own desires. This is not okay! We are all intuitive and need to trust ourselves and be kind to ourselves.

Dannon portrays the woman as being a courageous warrior in her fight against the “bad” foods, yet we don’t see the truth… the point when the woman realizes she has denied herself of what she is really craving and eventually chooses to listen to her craving, eat it, then feel guilty about doing so. The sad part is, the only reason she is feeling guilty about listeing to herself and her wants is due to companies like Dannon which state that her craving was “bad”. However, we have to take responsibility and not fall victim to this disordered thinking. We can listen to our wants and feed ourselves what we want and say “No!” To the guilt and man with the bullhorn trying to brainwash us into feeling bad. We don’t see the part where the woman realizes that the yogurt does not provide the same flavor and fulfillment as a real meal does.

My question is “When will a company come out with an ad where they show a woman eating food and enjoying it? Eating food that isn’t “Light, fat free,etc” and just food that tastes good????!!!

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April 9, 2013 Leave a Comment

Jeans for YOUR Genes Campaign

jean drive

Good morning my friends! I am happy to announce a NEW campaign being launched starting today and will be running throughout the Spring Season, our first Jeans for YOUR Genes Campaign!

Jeans for our Genes Campaign celebrates healthy body image and positive self-esteem through a jeans drive. Working in Partnership with The Center for Hope of NOVA, this northern Virginia jean collection is designed to encourage healthy lifestyles and realistic body image and acceptance.

We are encouraging everyone to clean out their closets this Spring and donate jeans that no longer fir or ones they do not feel comfortable in, the Be Me Foundation will sell back these jeans to local consignment shops to raise money for the scholarship fund at The Center for Hope of NOVA, which will provide men and women treatment when they cannot afford it.

By donating your jeans, you are delivering a powerful message of self-acceptance and being true to yourself!

If you are in the Northern Virginia, DC, Maryland area, you can drop your jeans off at The Center for Hope of NOVA  on Saturdays from 10 am to noon. If you are unable to drop them off please mail them to us!

We need your help so we can help others recover! Please pass this along to your friends and family.

As Always…Be YOU,

Jenn B.

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April 6, 2013 4 Comments

NEW scholarship Fund for Treatment!

Good afternoon my friends! I hope you are enjoying your weekend. It’s a pretty busy weekend over here with the launch of new fundraising that will be explained below,  as well as supporting the DC NEDA walk tomorrow!

I am very excited to share with you some amazing things the  BE ME Foundation has been putting together. Be Me is partnering up with The Center for Hope of NOVA to help those in need of treatment but cannot afford it. This scholarship fund will help people be able to have their much deserved chance at life and recovery! How exciting, right??!!

How can you help and take part in this amazing cause?

Well, I know that there are many of you whom know someone  suffering from an eating disorder.There are many men and women who have been through too much suffering and deserve the opportunity to receive treatment for healing and a chance at life. Both BE ME and The Center for HOPE, have chosen to no longer turn our heads when we know an individual is needing treatment  to heal their suffering, but that the cost is too much.  We have decided to partner up on this scholarship fund because the price is too high, to turn our heads and accept this. We will do something to help!

The scholarship fund will allow The Center for Hope of NOVA, to treat 10+ men and women in their journey to healing.

The total need is $145,000. Which provides ten individuals Intensive Outpatient Services.

We believe that BE ME, The center for HOPE and YOU, can help make this dream a reality. We can raise $10,000 THIS month.

Here’s the plan: Each of us donate $10 and ask 10 friends to do the same. It’s that simple. If 100 of us can do that, we can raise $10,000 this next month.

These men and women are worth it!!!!

So, the question is, Will you help us? Will you donate $10? Will you put it on your Facebook and ask your friends/family/coworkers to donate $10? Will you email people? Tweet people?

Will you ask people at the grocery store or your local faith community or school or business?!  :-)

We will stand with those suffering and in need of treatment and hope. We will honor them and love them. We will send the message to the world that we will not look away from their suffering any longer, and instead will raise our voices and shout the truth that there is hope!

Please visit the Ways to Help page at the BE ME Foundation to contribute to this amazing scholarship fund!

As Always…Be YOU,

Jenn B. 

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March 29, 2013 Leave a Comment

I AM Me.

Good evening my friends! I am hoping you are enjoying your Good Friday and getting ready for the Easter weekend.

Image

Recently, I had a few people ask me why I wasn’t on Pinterest. And to be honest, I have no interest to join. You can read more on why I choose not, here. But to get to the point quickly,  it is because I find Pinterest an easy way to engage in self comparison. I don’t need to have another media outlet that provides just  another way for me to compare my life to others.  Because I am me. And there is no one to compare ‘ME’ to.

You see, as much as I know this it is difficult at times to be doing it. To be, being me. I believe “being me” is a skill I continue to learn as well an innate gift that is within each one of us, when we are created and born into this world.

In the past, it was difficult for me to recognize the difference between me “being me” and me comparing myself to others (attempting to be like others).  I am so happy that I never gave up on the journey of discovering who I am and learning how to Be Me, instead of attempting to be like others or who they wanted me to be (by their expectations of me).

I have learned “being me” well and enjoy learning more each day.

Remember, that YOU are YOU. You were created and born to Be YOU. Please continue being YOU.

I have heard too many people compare themselves to events, looks, and statuses of others. I have heard comments about how one person is feeling less than another person, after reading a friend’s Facebook status or reading an “inspirational” quote on Pinterest, feeling as though they are in need of being more like another person. Please step back from social media and embrace your own thoughts and listen to your own heart. You have the answers and know what is best for you. Because what works for one person does not mean it’s best for YOU.

Do you ever fall into the trap of comparing YOU to another? 

As always Be YOU,

Jenn B. 

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March 22, 2013 2 Comments

Riding the waves!

 

Do recovery, love life!

When I first started surfing at the beginning of hurricane season in the year 2001, I was blown away by how similar it was to recovery (and blown away by the strong hurricane winds).

As I began  getting to know the beach, each surf session became more familiar as I accepted  the ever changing tides, and how the bottom of the ocean affected the way the waves broke that day. Usually there’s a dip in the floor of the ocean that is close to shore that creates a spot for the waves to break – perfect place to catch a wave right? So very wrong… I soon learned after eating sand too many times!

This is where surfing relates to recovery. I paddle out and then a wave curls itself over me, sending me into somersaults under water.  I feel  like a sock  in the washer machine on spin cycle. In those moments, all I am doing is trying to stop spinning and rolling, and make my way up to the surface, so that I can gasp some air into my lungs…so that I can BREATHE!

Because I am persistent in “catching a wave” , it isn’t long before I catch my breath,  find my board, and go at it again; only to be clobbered by waves repeatedly. This is what ED (the eating disorder) can feel  like. It can leave you feeling hopeless at your attempts to recovering.  It can have you feeling like you can’t move anywhere and that you will never be able to breathe for more than just a few moments. It can leave you wondering, why do I even keep trying?

The answer will  be found when you don’t give up and you keep going!  Because FINALLY, you will get to the “outside”, past the whitewater waves  breaking, and you will get to a calm place where you can sit for a moment, regain some strength until you feel strong enough to go at it again. You can paddle into the waves hoping you will get your balance and stay on top of the water, and ride the wave into the shore.

Too many times, you may feel as though you are going straight back to being clobbered by waves, but soon, something happens and you catch a wave and you find yourself STANDING UP!!! This is like the moment in recovery where you finally find some freedom. Where you have a moment of defeating ED and see a glimpse of life where you are YOU again.  Yes, you’ll have to keep fighting the waves. Yes, you’ll have to keep practicing standing up on your surfboard – but soon, you’ll be standing on your surfboard all the time!

Like I said, when I first started surfing, I saw how similar to recovery it was.  Last year, we had some good waves and I got up a few times at the beginning of the session, but then I began to struggle and couldn’t get up again. I stood near the shore with the waves lapping against my shins holding my board on top of my head trying to analyze what I was doing wrong. Maybe I was trying to take too many waves and I needed to be more patient and wait for the right one? Maybe I was just getting tired and needed a break?

When I  went back out again and kept falling off my board every time I tried. I finally took a time out and  sat  on the shore to think  about  what I could do differently, since I was only exhausting myself by doing what it is I was. After watching the surfers from the shore, I realized that maybe I needed to try becoming one with the wave instead of  trying to control how the waves move (because that is impossible) and begin learning  to follow its’ direction.

Needless to say, I didn’t really catch many more waves that day, but my self reflection of “fighting against the waves”  hit me later that night. It meant many things to me. And it may mean something to you too. Do you have a vision of what recovery  is “supposed” to look like? Does this vision look similar to your own vision of recovery?

Just like I was trying to “fight the waves” instead of “riding them” are there still things from your eating disorder that you won’t let go of and surrender to? Maybe these are things that are being suggested by your therapist and treatment team?   Maybe these are things  they know can challenge you in your recovery to help you move forward, but your ED is telling you to “fight” these suggestions, instead of “riding” along with them?

Take a moment to sit on the shore and think about what you may be  feeling you are  ”fighting” against. Practice listening to your heart see if it scares you to listen to it? Remember that the way are you “fighting the waves”, instead of ” going with the waves”  that are being suggested to you by those who love and support you, it  will lead you in the recovery direction, you are  meant to go to!

What is one thing you are “fighting” recovery on? I encourage you to practice “riding” the wave of recovery instead : )

As Always, Be YOU,

Jenn B.

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March 12, 2013 3 Comments

No longer Optional.

Take each meal and snack one moment at a time. You deserve nourishment and life!

Take each meal and snack one moment at a time. You deserve nourishment and life!

 

Good Morning my friends! I hope you are enjoying your Tuesday so far.  Recently, I have been detecting a theme among those I am mentoring and counseling. The theme has been one that many people in recovery with an Eating Disorder can relate to, so I thought it would be best to share it with all my readers.

Let’s start off by stating the importance of getting professional help when struggling with an eating disorder. If you are struggling yourself or know of someone who is, please encourage them to receive the professional help that is required.  If you need guidance in doing so, please contact me and I can help you find resources in your area.

Now, let’s move on to one aspect of this professional help that I just mentioned, a nutritionist whom specializes in Eating Disorders. It is important to find a professional who knows the dangers, complications and all issues regrading nourishing our bodies and how the Eating Disorder takes a toll on our physical health. It is important to be aware of the physical complications that can occur when engaging in dangerous eating disorder behaviors. Our physical health can be met by properly nourishing our bodies and making the effort to stop engaging in eating disordered behaviors.

The best words of wisdom I can give you is to no longer view your meal plan as “optional.”  Early in my recovery when I planned and wrote out my meal plan, I wrote in big letters at the top “Behaviors are NOT an option.”  You have to view your meal plan as your instructions for the day that HAVE to be followed…no ifs, ands, or buts about it!

Another thing I did to stop me from being overwhelmed with the meal plan was to fold my meal plan, so that I could only see breakfast. At lunchtime, I’d unfold it so I could see lunch, and so on.  I did this for each meal and snack that was “prescribed” to me. This helped me to just focus on the present, which seemed more manageable.

Also,  setting up accountability with someone helps a lot.  This is where your treatment team can come into play, your therapist and nutritionist can be your  accountability buddies!

Following your meal plan can be difficult, especially in the beginning, but it will get easier with time.  I know that’s probably hard to believe right now, but trust me!  I’m speaking from experience.  Instead of “trying” to follow your meal plan, tell yourself “I WILL follow my meal plan today.”  And when you do, make sure you tell us here so we can celebrate with you!  No step is ever too small to celebrate!  : )

Always Be YOU,

Jenn B.

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